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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

i lost my head

i lost my head that day
the things you said went right through
and i fell, laughing to myself
as the sunlight kissed my shoulders

i lost my head that day
where are all the memories?
spinning backwards from this moment
i lost my point of view

i lost my head that day
laying gently on the air
carry me through another doubt
and wake me in the morning

Thursday, May 26, 2011


strangers stuck together
by common circumstance

riding post-haze apathy
along the squealing rails

water drips apologies
on spit-shined shoes

all the while waiting
for a quick way out

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Being cool is easy in 2011

It's way easier for young people to be cool in 2011 than in 1981. 

One big reason?


Those with basic breathing function and social networking savvy have way more 'friends' than any kid in 1986. 

Loners, who would be bullied and teased in the 'old days', now have a forum. During what other era could one sit alone in a dark room, unwashed and clad only in pyjama bottoms, and gain hundreds of followers (a few great writers throughout history aside)?

In 1986, you were very lucky to get your 15 minutes of fame. Now, if you have a special talent, like, say, chugging beer through your nose, or belching the national anthem, you can just upload a video and have more friends than you can handle overnight. 

And dating? Well… 

In the 1980s, you had to be smooth enough to 'get a number' (whatever that means). 

Now, all you have to do is find out a name, stalk them, and hope they accept your friend request. Or you can hit the dating sites. Feel like you're looking too old to be on dating sites? No worries, just upload a photo from 1981. 

Then just sit back and work your cyber charm. And don't worry, meeting in person won't be so bad. The person on the other end likely exaggerated some of their attributes too. 

The internet aside -- 

In 1981, smoking was considered way cool. In 2011, you stick out like a sore thumb if you smoke, and nobody wants you in their building.

Guys wearing clean, pressed, colour-coordinated outfits and thick-rimmed glasses in 1981 would be sneered at by some. Now they're hip and fashionable.  

in 1981, you were cool if you drove a big dirty car and floored it around town in second gear. Now you're considered cool if you drive a compact at the speed limit to respect the environment. 

In 1981, you were respected if you could do stunts on your BMX. Now, you're the man if you know the correct button combination to do video game stunts. 

… That all being said, I'm still working on being cool. 

Until I am, I'll just be sitting here in my pyjama bottoms.  

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Top reasons the world can't end today

All this talk about the Rapture... don't worry folks! It just can't happen today.


The Leafs haven't won another Stanley Cup yet (that event will likely trigger the Rapture)

Oprah's final show hasn't aired yet. You don't want a bunch of pissed of mom ghosts up there. 

The Mayan calendar clearly gives us another year (and a half) to live. 

There's still a bunch of restaurants (I mean bars) in Toronto i haven't tried yet. 

I saw Jesus a couple of days ago on Yonge Street, and he looked pretty content. 

Due to overcrowding in heaven, there's not enough room for all believers until the expansion is completed in 2012. 

There already is hell on earth.

And on a personal note... we already have non-refundable deposits down on wedding stuff.