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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Life tips for 2015

Problem: You feel uncomfortable in a room of strangers.

Likely cause: You care about what people think of you.

Solution: Care about that less.

Problem: You’re stressed.

Likely cause: You’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

Solution: Live up to your own expectations.

Problem: You have no time for yourself.

Likely cause: You’re giving it away to everyone. 

Solution: Take it back.

Problem: Your food tastes bland.

Likely cause: It’s gluten or sugar or dairy or trans-fat free.

Solution: Eat what tastes good and makes you feel good.

Problem: You feel less than perfect.

Likely cause: You’re trying to be perfect.

Solution: Remember nothing is perfect.

Problem: Someone is doing something that annoys you.  

Likely cause: You’re paying too much attention to other people.

Solution: If it doesn’t affect you, take a deep breath.

Problem: Your home feels too cold.

Likely cause: Inadequate insulation or window seals.

Solution: Think how cold it would be on a park bench.

Problem: Your favourite pop star was spotted without makeup.

Likely cause: You are reading too many trashy online sites.

Solution: Help a worthwhile charity.

Problem: Your car is making weird noises.

Likely cause: You are driving too much.

Solution: Take a walk. Or turn up the radio.

Problem: You can’t stand someone’s point of view.

Likely cause: You are of a different faith.

Solution: I doubt your faith tells you to despise anyone.

Problem: You don’t like the way you look.

Likely cause: You’re comparing yourself to airbrushed models.

Solution: You’re beautiful. Find a new photographer.

Problem: You’re having trouble ‘finding yourself’.

Likely cause: You think you need to fall into a single personality category.

Solution: Love all of your personalities. They’re all you. 

Problem: Your bank account is lower than you want it to be.

Likely cause: We associate wealth with self-worth.

Solution: Can you afford to eat today? You’re fine.

Problem: You can’t seem to ‘dance like nobody’s watching’.

Likely cause: You don’t think your abilities are good enough to show off.

Solution: You got it all wrong. Dance like everyone’s watching.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Police respond to reports of uncovered patio furniture

Police and fire crews descended on Tuxedo Avenue this morning in a dramatic scene after uncovered patio furniture was spotted in a residential backyard. 

Police Insp. Jim Watkins was tight-lipped at the scene when asked about the condition of the furniture, and the identity of the owners. 

"I can't say much, it's in the early stages of the investigation," he said. "But I can say there will be a full investigation, and there are charges pending."

Tuxedo resident Rita Fitzhenry said she didn't personally know the homeowners with the neglected patio furniture, but said they kept to themselves. "They seemed a decent couple, not the kind you'd expect to leave helpless furniture out in the cold like that," she said. "The neighbours were all aware it was happening, but no one said anything... I guess you could say it was our fault too."

The inspector did say it was the second call of this nature in the area in the past week, but was happy to report the first set of patio furniture was rescued and donated to a good home. "That furniture won't be left out in the cold again, that's for sure," he said.