Top reasons the world can't end today

All this talk about the Rapture... don't worry folks! It just can't happen today.

Why?

The Leafs haven't won another Stanley Cup yet (that event will likely trigger the Rapture)

Oprah's final show hasn't aired yet. You don't want a bunch of pissed of mom ghosts up there. 

The Mayan calendar clearly gives us another year (and a half) to live. 

There's still a bunch of restaurants (I mean bars) in Toronto i haven't tried yet. 

I saw Jesus a couple of days ago on Yonge Street, and he looked pretty content. 

Due to overcrowding in heaven, there's not enough room for all believers until the expansion is completed in 2012. 

There already is hell on earth.

And on a personal note... we already have non-refundable deposits down on wedding stuff.